just wait, it's coming! dddragon presents: Is Anything Truly Random?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

A funny thing happened on the way to ...

New Hampshire.


well, not really. We visited w/ Nod's aunt, uncle & cousins for a few days. I'll post about it later.


I do have something funny to post, courtesy of mom's friend's husband, who sends/forwards things daily. This one really tickled my funny bone:


Bonus question given on a chemistry exam: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.


As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as> >they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.


Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:









1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

Hell, Michigan

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

Icicles on Hell Sign




So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."





THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

7 Comments:

At 5:24 PM, Blogger actonbell said...

haha. I really like that second sign!

 
At 6:27 PM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

That's classic, Della. Eminently stealable.

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

That is the first time you read this? It has been floating around since the fax days.

Still good though.

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger AP3 said...

That's great! I actually never heard it before.

Now... what to get the girls?

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger TLP said...

That Don. He keeps me in jokes...when I actually open them and read them.

'Tis funny.

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

That's a very detailed, reasoned answer.

 
At 9:49 PM, Blogger Doug said...

I met Teresa. B-, tops.

 

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